First Step...

Well i made my very fist step in trying to improve things with Rebel. Last night I went to target and got a birthday card for her... Let me tell you how hard it is to find a birthday card for someone you don't even like! I found one that was very nice but not personal. I figured this would be a good way to break the ice. So i put it in the mail today so she'll have it by tomorrow now she doesn't usually check her mail but maybe since its her birthday she'll see if there is anything for her? I'll write a update when i know she has it.

My very first blog!

Ok so here I go... I started going to church about 2 months ago because I feel like in my life i'm dealing with somethings that are far beyond my power to fix or control and one of them is my partners ex. Anyone that knows me knows that this woman has put us though more shit in the last 5 years then most people seem to go though in a life time. I will admit that all the stress of dealing with her and everything she pulls has turned me in to a stressed out bitter person that i myself am getting sick of! So going to church has helped me to understand how to forgive and what it actually means to forgive and I'm on my way to doing that. Then i ran in to a book online while i was Christmas shopping called No One's the BITCH and my first thought was wow they don't know rebel! But it caught my eye and looked pretty good so i ordered it and i have been flying though it and can't wait to use some of what they say in real life. What i would like to do is go all the way through the book and think about everything and then go back and take baby steps in improving this relationship between Rebel and I. Chances are very high that this could blow up in my face and i could look like a total idiot but because I love Q so much and I'm tired of all the pain she has to go though because we can't all be adults and get this taken care of I told my self I am willing to do stuff I never thought i would be. I can't wait to see how things take off and will let you know when something new happens. Please if you have any advice on making things better or even how to get this started I would love to hear! Until tomorrow goodnight!